Why Do I Feel So Depressed?

I have been feeling really depressed lately. My friends of mine ask what do I have to be depressed about and I cant seem to find an answer for them. I need a new brain I think.

Sometimes I sit and cry for nothing, drowning my thoughts in alcohol helps at times. My meds help at other times. I don't feel lonely and living alone doesn't bother me, so why this depression all the time?

Been to therapists but I remain the same. I don't feel suicidal and feel I have a lot more to gain in life, so whats wrong with me? I don't think I will ever get over my parents passing, I just push those thoughts away when they creep up.

I have a love/hate relationship with my sister, I don't think much at all about her. In my opinion I have everything I need so why do I cry a lot and feel down? Therapist couldn't even give me an answer for that one.

Maybe if I would be a little bit more honest with him maybe he could find a solution for me. Nah, I doubt it. I think that Therapists are in it just for the money, who knows.

Some people suggest that I go to church, no way I don't want to end up in one of those Polygamist groups, with my luck that's what would happen. I guess I will have to deal with my own recovery or will I? So many questions and no answers.

Guess I will pour myself another brandy on the rocks. Yeah when all this kicks in I will feel much better I am sure.

~Cat